This week Kiley has done her waiting, 100 years of it, in France! Meanwhile, Jonathan has trust issues when it comes to how few pounds of cotton he'll have when the government collapses.
Topics: Joan of Arc, Bitcoin
Music: "Another Day" by The Fisherman.
You can find us on Facebook, Twitter, and visit our website at www.halfwit-history.com!
Reach out, say hello, or suggest a topic at HalfwitPod@gmail.com
This week Kiley has done her waiting, 100 years of it, in France! Meanwhile, Jonathan has trust issues when it comes to how few pounds of cotton he'll have when the government collapses.
Topics: Joan of Arc, Bitcoin
Music: "Another Day" by The Fisherman.
You can find us on Facebook, Twitter, and visit our website at www.halfwit-history.com!
Reach out, say hello, or suggest a topic at HalfwitPod@gmail.com
Support the show (https://www.ko-fi.com/halfwithistory)
resurrection spells Helder death saves.
So what you're saying is life is really just a giant DND campaign And gods the dungeon master.
Well, at least we know there was one. Paladin. Hi. And welcome the half wit history. I'm Jonathan,
and I'm Kylie.
And this is a show where we talk about the upcoming week, but a long time ago.
I'm actually pretty long ago and it But it's not this upcoming week.
I am the shortest ago that we can possibly do.
Oh, wow. You're really like pushing it this time Aren't Jen's
Oh, wow. 10 years, four score and seven years ago. Wait,
not even clues.
Well, um, all right, so I'm well, you just said you 2009 so obviously I co for
yes. Um, there. I do have a quick update, though.
episode with Ah, that Senator Thomas, I was saying Blount
o. R. And
actually has corrected me and see it is blunt.
Yep, like Emily Blunt
or a blunt object.
Well, that, too, but I was thinking about people, so Okay, I, um I do not have any updates. However, I will inform the listeners that This is the week of December 30th through January 5th,
Right? Because we're still a little behind were so close. We are going to catch up next week. All those caught up
as a side note, I feel like it's probably good practice for us to say which, but live in what we were talking about, anyway.
just that. Like people. Yeah, exactly. So that no one's like, uh, what are you talking about? All right,
so let's just get it started. Just
gonna dive on in. Okay? So my topic my event comes from January 3rd 14. 31. Ah, when Joan of Arc is handed over to Bishop Pierre Cushion, who put her on trial and sentence her to death. What? Whoa. Just kind of So we all know where this is headed on and no one can beat. Surprise.
Kylie can never avoid death,
huh? All right. Okay. So Joan of Arc, also known as Jeanne d'Arc, was born sometime around 14. 12. She didn't know when specifically she was born, so it's kind of anyone's guess parents were jacked. Arc and Isabel remain. They were a peasant family and they lived in Don't run me in northern France, Jones parents owned about 50 acres of land, and her father supplemented his farming work with a minor position as a village official, collecting taxes and heading the local watch. Unfortunately for Joan, she was born during the 100 years war, which was between France and England, and it had begun in 13 37 as an inheritance dispute. Like 99% of like medieval disagreements and stuff started, someone wanted the throne that they didn't actually get and therefore went to war about it
for 100 years.
Yeah, while the name of the 100 years War is very misleading, it was actually closer to like, I think, 70 or something like that. And there were, like, frequent periods of truce. So it wasn't constant fighting like there were a lot of Yeah, we were on a break. Little friends reference in there.
All right, so the dispute was over the French throne since it was French and English. So that's usually what the problem is.
French and English. There normally the problem okay.
And like I said this time was interest first with occasional periods of relative peace. Over the years, however, it had taken a huge toll on France were almost all of the fighting had happened. And to make matters worse, the French had never really recovered from the black death epidemic that had broken out in the mid 14th century. And his merchants were almost completely isolated from foreign markets. So their economy tanked. Half the population died. It was bad time. War, war, war. Yeah, war was real big. So the king of the time, Charles the six sorry had to count Roman numerals there suffered from bouts of insanity and was often considered unable to rule. Weren't
most kings often found have been in the same
well, this one in particular, like was called like his nickname was the Mad King.
But I was just going for rulers in that period.
Yeah, well, there's a lot of inbreeding and undiagnosed diseases. So true it was not a fun time. And just think it was that bad for people who had all the money. Just imagine how it was for, like people who had absolutely no recourse. Right. Yanks. There's a reason the life span was so low. Um, so the king's brother, Louis Duke of Orleans and the king's cousin, John the Fearless, who was Duke of Burgundy, quarreled over the regency of France and the guardianship of the royal Children. Because the king was nuts. There were accusations that Louis was having an extramarital affair with the queen is a bow of Bavaria and allegations that John the Fearless kidnapped the royal Children. All of this culminated in 14 07 when the Duke of Orleans was assassinated on the orders of the Duke of Burgundy. The Duke of Orleans, son Charles succeeded him at age 13. And then when his mother died, he was placed in the custody of his father in law, Bernard. The seventh count of Armagnac. His supporters later became known as the are maniacs kinda Bekoe wacko and 130.0, no. Yeah. On a side note, Charles was first married in 14 06 when he was 12.
Was that normal back then?
Well, yes and no. It was more normal for nobility and less normal for the peasantry. Okay, because the nobles would make alliances with their young Children from, like, very early ages. Whereas peasants were like, I want you to work on my farm as long as humanly possible.
Please don't leave.
Yeah, very much. His first wife was ill of Isabella, of Vala, who was the daughter of Charles the six and is a bow. So his. Sorry. I'm mentally trying to go with this family tree again In my head, I had to write it out. I should have brought my sticky note with this, like, stupid family tree up. Because there's, like, three Charles is. And I get them all confused because they were all child husband. So? So, Charles, who was the new Duke of Orleans? His first wife was Isabella of Allah, the Charles, the daughter of Charles the six, and is a bow. So the mad king and his wife, she was so also his like first cousin. Yeah, because his his his father was Charles the six brother. So his first cousin. Okay, So Isabella, his new wife, was first married to the almost 30 year old king, right? Richard, the second of England at the age of sex. You? Yeah. I
don't care what time period that is You.
Yeah, well, she was widowed three years later.
Good on her.
She was a widow before she was 10 years old.
That, I mean, that is a better outcome. I
think you have, probably. So her husband's depose, er Henry of the fourth, tried to make her marry his son, but she refused at like nine years old. Heck, yah, Well and then, like he held her there, kind of sort of against her will for a while. And by that I mean, like, she really didn't have the means to go anywhere without his permission
because she's a child
and she's female. That's the main thing.
Where would she go As a child?
Well, home to her parents, but yeah. So she went into mourning and, like, refused to marry his son. He eventually allowed her to return to France, but he did keep her dowry. She was then married off to the 12 year old Charles of Orleans, and she was 17. And then she died in childbirth at 19 really short marriage with numerous husbands. So that sucks. Yeah, women's lives in the medieval times were not great. So bouncing back to the 100 years war, when Henry the fifth invaded France, winning a dramatic victory at again court. That's probably not how you pronounce it. But this one I did not look up. That's fine. Ah, Charles of our Leo was one of the many French nobles at this battle. And he was taken captive by the English after he was discovered to be a kn wounded. But he was trapped under a pile of corpses incapacitated by the weight of his own armor. Whoa! Sounds like actual nightmare fuel
was going to say this episode is already extra gross. But it is middle ages and that should just be categorized as gross.
Yeah, I mean, pretty much like there was death and disease and not much else. Charles was then taken captive, and he would spend the next 24 years being moved from Castle to Castle as an English prisoner where he would actually become a prolific poet and is often credited with writing the first Valentine's Day poem. Oh, so yeah, in 14 18 Paris was taken by the Burgundy ins who massacred the account of Armagnac and about 2 25 100 of his followers. At this point, the 14 year old future Charles, the seventh becomes heir. And now this. We're no what we no longer talk about Charles of early on, and now we're pretty much only talking about Charles the seventh. But they were like the same age, which is why I got super confused. So the 14 year old Charles, the seventh, becomes heir, and he takes the title of of de Font, which indicates him as like the actually appointed heir because all four of his older brother's died. His first significant official act was to conclude a peace treaty with the Duke of Burgundy and 14 19. This ended in disaster when Armagnac partisans assassinated John the Fearless during a meeting that was under Charles Guarantee of protection. That's a really bad way to start off the new Duke of Burgundy. Philip the Good blamed Charles for the murder and entered into an alliance with the English, and that alienated the forces and conquered large sections of France. So bad traces so to make things even more dramatic. In 14 20 the Queen of France, who was Charles's mother, signed the Treaty of Troy's, which granted the succession of the French throne to Henry, the fifth and his heirs instead of her son, Charles, who was like the rightful king. So this agreement revived suspicions that he might have, in fact, actually been the illegitimate product of her rumored affair with the late Duke of Orleans. Well, yeah, right. Not the son of King Charles. The sex, however, as fate would have it, Henry, the fifth, and Charles the six, died within two months of each other, leaving infant Henry the six of England, the nominal mark monarch of both kingdoms. And as history has shown time and again, an infant monarch opens the doors for those who think they have a claim to rule well, in this case, it opened the doors for the person who actually did have the claim to roll by the time Joan of Arc it be can do influence influence events. In 14 29 nearly all of northern France and some parts of the Southwest were under Anglo Burgundy and control the English controlled Paris and ruin, while the Burgundian faction controlled um Dream, which is which had served as the traditional site for the like crowding of French kings. And this is an important consideration, since neither claim to the throne had been crowned. Yet since 14 28 the English had been conducting a siege of Orly out one of the few remaining cities that was still loyal to Charles. And it was an important objective, um, and held a strategic position. So it was a pretty, uh, pretty Julen that gem for them to try and get. No one was optimistic that the city would withstand the siege for much longer. And for generations, there had been prophecies in France which promised the nation would be saved by a virgin from the borders of Lorraine who would work miracles and that France would be lost by a woman and shall therefore be restored by a virgin. The part of this prophecy about the woman who would lose France was pretty heavily interpreted to have been is a bow when she signed that treaty of Troy's, which gave away the throne. So Joan grew up in an isolated part of eastern France that was that remained loyal to Charles. But despite being surrounded by pro burgundy and lands, several raids happened during her childhood, and on one occasion her village was like completely burned. Like many peasants in 15th century France. Jones illiterate, and it's believed that the letters that she would write during her lifetime. We're actually dictated to ascribe because some of the things that they they have found that have her signing them. It's very clear from the way she signs her name that she can. She doesn't know what the letters mean. Like it's very clear that it's like someone learning to write.
It's a pattern that they're copying.
Yeah, pretty much, yeah. So when she was around 13 she experienced what she would later call her first vision. In it, she saw figures she identified as Saint Michael, Saint Catherine and Saint Margaret, who told her to drive out the English and take the dough font to reams for his consecration. She said that she cried when they left because they were so beautiful. So at the age of 16 she convinced a relative to take her to the nearby town of Vocal Er, where she petitioned the garrison commander for an armed escort to take her to the French royal court. He was very sarcastic and basically told her no. So she returned later and gained support from two of his soldiers and, according to one of them, she told him that I must be at the king's side. There will be no help for the kingdom if not from me, although I would rather have remained spinning Well, let my mother's side yet must I go? And must I do this thing for my Lord Wills? I do so with their assistance. She was given a second meeting with the commander, and she made a prediction about a military reversal. That word had not come yet that it actually happened, but she somehow knew about it beforehand, which is pretty impressive, considering shoes illiterate and was a peasant. So she had no military strategy. So even if she had somehow known about it, she wouldn't have known its significance to relay it right. So, like there's a lot of layers to that that I don't have time or knowledge to go into. So, according to the journal Deuce, Deuce eased, or Leo, which portrays Joan as a miraculous figure. She came to know of the battle through the grace of the Divine while she was tending her flocks and Lorraine and then used this divine revelation to persuade the commander to take her to the Dhofar, so kind of reminiscent of the whole. So ah, shepherds in the fields being revealed by the Angel the Birth of Christ. So apparently confirmation of this prediction was enough to convince the commander to take her to the French court. She made the journey disguised as a male soldier. Ah, fact that would later lead to charges of cross dressing, which was a Leo, although her escort views viewed it as like a normal precaution because it was safer to not be traveling with the obvious woman. So two of the members of her escort said they in the people of the town, sending them along I don't want pronounce again, provided her with clothing, and they all were like You should dress like a boy. Her first meeting with Charles the seventh occurred in 14 29 when she was 17 and she made a pretty strong first impression. During this time, His mother in law, Yolande of Aragon, was planning to finance a relief expedition to Orly, Huh Um and Joan ask permission to travel with the army, and she was given armour and a sword for protection. Yolanda also provided Jones banner and other items that were utilized by her entourage, which she would later carry through pretty much all of the campaigns that she went on. So it seems outlandish for would be Kings campaign to outfit a 17 year old girl to ride into battle. But you have to remember that at this point, Charles campaign was completely failing badly, right? Jones showing up with these visions from God, saying God supported his cause would have been very attractive for Charles and pretty much everyone on his side. Not to mention this was a very religious time as well, where things like visions and religious prophecies held a lot of meaning
because the Middle Ages were crazy.
Yeah, so the historian Steffen W. Richie explains her attraction to the royal court by pointing out that they may have viewed her is the only source of hope for a regime that was near collapse, he wrote. After years of one humiliating defeat after another, both the military and civil leadership of France were demoralized and discredited. When the deaf on Charles granted Jones urgent request to be equipped for Warren placed at the head of his army, his decision must have been based in large part on the knowledge that every Orthodox, every rational option have been tried and have failed. So only a regime in the final strains of desperation would pay any heed to an illiterate farm girl who claimed that the voice of God was instructing her to take charge of her country's army and lead it
to victory. Honestly, though much more believable than some super rich guys saying that God came to them envisions because,
I mean, yeah,
God bless the meek, all that kind of stuff. All these rich people who are like God spoke to me. It's like know they didn't
ever. It seems highly unlikely.
If you believe what you read. You were not the people that
right? Yeah, you're not the chosen. No. Yeah. So Jones, arrival at the head of Charles's reinforcements effectively turned the longstanding English French conflict into a religious war so is no longer necessarily about an inheritance dispute. It became much more religiously motivated, and it
means it was really for oil. I
mean, no wrong. So his advisors were were worried that unless her orthodoxy could be proven without a shadow of the of a doubt, a case she wasn't a heretic or a source or Charles enemies could easily make the allegation that his crown was a gift from the devil. So Charles had people look into her background, her family's background, you know, all that good stuff. And they declared her to be of irreproachable life, a good Christian, possessed of the virtues of humility, honesty and simplicity. And one of the things that I read was that part of this, like vent vetting. Was they checked for her virginity? Gross. Yeah. So glowing endorsement. Not so great methods. Despite all this, Charles advisers wanted to test her claim of divine divination, and they recommended that her claims should be put to the test by seeing if she could, in fact, lift the siege of Orleans as she had so promised. So Joe Joan arrives in Orly aunt on April 29th 14 29. John Door Leon, who is the count of Dean Wah? Um, who was also known as the Bastard of Orleans was the imprisoned Duke of Orleans, illegitimate brother. So that first Charles that we talked about and then I said we weren't talking about anymore.
Well, you've talked about him again.
I know. I brought it. I kind of forgot he was coming back he's coming back for this mentions that he's going away again. He spent like most of his life in prison.
Goodbye prison, Charles.
Yep. So initially he excluded Joan from the war councils and failed to inform her when the Army engaged the enemy. However, that didn't stop her from showing up at most of these councils and battles. Heck, yeah, yeah. The extent of her actual military participation in leadership is a subject of debate among historians. On one hand, Jones stated that she carried her Bandel in batter and the and had never killed anyone. And she referred to her as her banner as 40 times better than a sword. The Army was always directly commanded by a nobleman, so, like she wouldn't have really been in direct command. Likely. On the other hand, many of these same nobleman stated that Joan had profound effect on their decisions since they often accepted the advice that she gave them, believing her advice was divinely inspired. So she had influence. But she wasn't necessarily like leading the charge, you know. So in either case, historians agree that the army enjoyed remarkable success during her brief time with it. Her arrival breathe new life into the defensive forces of Orly on. Previously, the defenders had attempted only one offensive assault, which had ended in defeat. And that turned that all turned around on May 4th, when the are maniacs attacked and captured the outlying fortress of ST Loup and followed by a second more march onto another fortress, which was found deserted. Um, after several, um, like pushes towards other fortresses and taking them in rapid succession, Um, her influence became more and more parent. Um, and as far as I can tell, it seems to have been more from like an encouragement and advice standpoint than like battle. Although there were a couple times where she was wounded so clearly she was there, there's just no way of no to exactly what extent you know. So they took several more cities and towns of fortresses back from the English Um, and one encounter. Joan was a road by wounded by an arrow between the neck and the shoulder while she was holding her banner. Um, slow down. Sorry. She was taken away to, like recuperate, but then came back like snuck back out should encourage the force of some wars all right. Cool. She was widely considered the heroine of this engagement by the people like around her. And the English actually retreated from Orly on the next day and the siege was over. So she did in fact do what she promised that she could. D'oh, knife. Yeah. So at this point, Joan had given Charles advisor the hope that she had promised and she gain their support to the English. The ability of this peasant girl to defeat their armies was regarded as proof that she was possessed by the devil. The British medievalist Beverly Boyd noted that this charge was not only propaganda but was sincerely believed since the idea that God was supported the French via Joan was definitely unattractive to an English audience. So it wasn't just like they the like British regime said that it was like it was genuinely believed that, like the people of England, Yes,
I'm just saying both ways are propaganda?
Well, yes. Ah, From here, Joan was able to convince Charles to let her travel with the army and allowed her to implement our plan to recapture nearby bridges along the lore as a prelude to an advance on reams for Charles's consecration is king. The French continue their push, retaking numerous cities from the English and Jones reputation grew. In June, the two armies clashed southwest of the village of Pate, a battle like into the French defeat at again court but reversed. The French vanguard attacked a unit of English archers who had been placed to block the road. And essentially, they decimated the main body of the English army and captured most of its prominent commanders, and the fresh French had very few losses. Then the army proceeded is march north towards ream, taking cities along the way with increasingly less resistance. Ream opened its gates to the army on July 16th 14 90 14 29 cy. The consecration took place the following morning, so Charles now has like the holy ordain mint of God and religion for his claim to the throne. Despite the urging of Joan and another one of his head commanders. And for an immediate march toward Paris, the royal court preferred to negotiate a truce with Duke Philip of Burgundy. That was a mistake the Duke use. This is opportunity, opportunity to reinforce the defenses in Paris, so by the time the French finally got there. It was heavily defended, and despite a wound to the leg from a crossbow, Joan remained in the inner trench until she was carried to safety by one of the commanders. During while they were trying to free Paris. Essentially, Oh, now I took an arrow to the knee. So the day after the hassle started started, the army received a royal order to withdraw. And most modern historians blame the French grant Grand Chamberlain for all the political but blenders that happened after Charles consecration, including the delay to leave for Paris and that order to withdraw once they were there on December 29th Joan and her family were in Noble by Charles, the seventh as a reward for her actions. So hey, good job. A truce with England during the following few months left Joan with little to Dio, she said some letters threatening some heretics, but and then charged England the English to leave France and go with her to Bohemia to fight the houselights. But that offer was not taken up so predictably. The truth did not last very long, and she was right back out there with the Army. But on May 23rd 14 30 the force that she was with attempting to attack a Burgundian camp was ambushed and captured. So Joan was imprisoned by the Burgundy ins, and she made several escape attempts on one occasion, actually jumping from her 70 foot tower and landing on the soft earth of a dry moat. I'm kind of assuming injuring herself in the process, because that's a long drop.
Soft earth is still very hard,
yes. So she was moved several times until the English negotiated with the Burgundy and allies to transfer her to their custody, agreeing that the English would pay the sum of 10,000 leva and Joan was handed over to the Bishop Pierre Cushion of Move a, an English part oven. On January 3rd, 14 31 they moved her to the city of Raw, which served as their main headquarters in France. There were several attempts to rescue her, Um, by launching military Campaigns Tours room while she was there, but none of them were successful, obviously. So since I'm really more interested in Jones life and I'm quickly running out of pages or time,
there are plenty of pages
terribly there's one page left. I'll just give a really quick rundown of like the trial roof after she was charged with heresy for repeated counts of cross dressing. And the tribunal was composed entirely of pro English in Burgundy and clerics and overseen by English commanders. So the odds were not in her favor. In the words of the British medievalist,
I hit my coming back up, um,
by foot, sweat, um, shit where I think in the in the words of the British medievalist Beverly Boyd, the trial was meant by the English crown to be a ploy to get rid of a bazaar prisoner of war with a maximum embarrassment to their enemies. So a few key issues under ecclesiastical law, Bishop Cushion lacks jurisdiction over the case, but he presided anyway. The low standard of evidence used in the trial also violated inquisitorial rules. The clerical notary assigned to collect testimony against Jones couldn't find any adverse evidence. They denied her the right to a legal advisor, which broke another ecclesiastical law. And then they stacked the tribunal entirely with pro English clergy, which violated the medieval churches requirement that heresy trials be judged by an impartial or balanced room of clerics kind like jury of your peers.
I'm surprised that they even had rules like that.
I know, right? I'm I'm too a little bit. When Joan asked for some French clerics to be added, her request was denied. Predictably so, the vice inquisitor of Northern France objected to the trial from its outset, and several eye witnesses later said he was forced to cooperate after the English threatened him. Some of the other clergy at the trial were also threatened when they refused to cooperate. So they cooperated much like you know what? Yeah, I could. I could see why being threatened would be like, Yeah, OK, so the trial records contained statements from Joan That and I was this later said, astonished the court. Since she was an illiterate peasant and yet was able to evade the theological pitfalls the tribunal had set up to entrap her. The most frame mixes exchange from this is an exercise in subtlety Quote. Asked if she knew she was in God's grace, she answered. If I am not, may God put me there, and if I am, May God keep so keep me, I should be the saddest creature in the world. If I knew I were not in his grace the questions of scholarly trap church doctor and held that no one could be certain of God's grace. And if she had yet answered yes, then she would have been charged with heresy. But if she had answered no, then she would have confessed to her own guilt. Okay, so the court notary later testified that the moment the court heard her reply, those those who were interrogating her were stupefied. So, like that's a really philosophical answer for someone who cannot read a right, right, right, yeah. So several members of the tribunal later testified that important portions of the transcript were falsified to be altered in her disfavor. Under inquisitorial guidelines, Jones should have been confined in an ecclesiastical prison under the supervision of female guards a nun's Instead, the English capture in a secular prison guarded by their own soldiers. The bishop denied Jones appeal to the court of Bethel and the pope, which should have stopped it entirely. The court record was doctored, and they had her sign an aberration document that she didn't understand because you couldn't read it and then they substituted it for a different one in the official record. So like Nice during her trial, she continued to wear male clothing specifically because it would be more difficult for the male guards who shouldn't have been guarding her the first place to rape her. And shortly after returning toe wearing a dress for the aberration, she told the tribunal member that a great English lord had entered her prison and tried to take her by force. So she wasn't allowed to wear men's clothing again because of you, like the way they snap and stuff. It was a lot harder than lifting a dress like she she would have had a chance to, like, fight someone off, kind of, right. So she was allowed to return to Male dressed with the consent of the court.
The court committed
heresy well. Her resumption of male militant military clothing was labeled a relapse into heresy for cross dressing was right. Yep. So despite actual permission to wear pants, she was found guilty by an extremely biased court for heresy and sentenced to death for reference. The trial records were considered so unfair that they were used as evidence for canonizing her in the 20th century. Oh yeah, So Joan of Arc was executed by burning on May 30th 14 31. After her death, the English raked back the coals to expose her charred body so that no one could claim she had escaped alive. They then burned the body twice more to reduce it completely to ashes and prevent any collection of relics. And then they cast her remains into the river. Toe bowling. The executioner later stated that he greatly feared to be damned, that he had burned a holy woman. Good job, Bud in 14 50 to a nullification inquest was held at the ink. The request of Inquisitor General and Jonesmother. A panel of theologians analyzed testimony from 115 witnesses and the final summering in June describe Joan as a martyr and implicated the late Pierre Cushion with heresy for having convicted an innocent woman in pursuit of a of a secular vendetta. The Apple It court declared her innocent on July 7th.
Little too late.
Yep. And as we all probably know, Joan of Arc was canonized on May 16th 1920.
For those who don't know what canonized means,
she's at ST
A literal sank.
I'm like, this Sounds like some fan fiction B s. I'm not sure what you're talking about,
Noah. Canonization is the process for becoming a state in the holy in the Roman Catholic Church. You should know that. Why are you Catholic while sort of have asked Catholic,
my Catholic Church hardly function like a Catholic church from what we're supposed to be. My Catholic church was very much closer to like Christian Baptist.
Yeah, probably. Yeah. Since her death in canonization, Joan of Arc has become a semi legendary figure, an uneducated female peasant who rose to prominence in a world where all of those should things should have counted against her. She's been lauded as a hero and a role model and a constant topic of fascination for thousands of young girls, including myself, way back in the day. To me, Joan of Arc is on the level of figures like Robin Hood or King Arthur, except she's riel and she actually achieved all these things that should have been impossible for someone of her status in her gender, and I always have found her really cool. So that's Joan of Arc Yeah.
So what I took away from that is Joan of Arc is the epitome of lawful good Paladin with a pledge of pacifism.
Yeah, Now that you think about it, she'd make a really good DND character.
And you know the reason they had to burn her so many times, you know, resurrection spells got wilder death saves.
So what you're saying his life is really just a giant DND campaign and gods the dungeon master?
Well, at least we know there was one Paladin had to make sure all the relics weren't anywhere near her body.
Yeah, that's true. Well, yeah, because, like martyrs and specifically, like people who are considered martyrs, taking pieces of them after death can carry a lot of meaning. So, like the fact that they had the foresight to consider that this, like, teenage girl could have been on that level means that she was clearly like a threat, which in and of itself really impressive. Yeah, living she almost not single handedly, but like she had a huge influence on changing the course of the 100 years war because I think it was like 10 years going after her, like not too far down the line after it ended before her, the French were losing badly. So like she completely yeah, exactly. She pushed in a completely different direction. So
speaking of completely different directions, let's go just 10 years ago to 2009.
Woo time jump! I'm getting whiplash from this time warp.
So on january 3rd of 2009 the Bitcoin network is creative, and the first block chain of digital currency is mined by a person or group of people known as Satoshi Nakamoto.
See, I saw this and looked at it When John is gonna pick this and move right on with my life
e, I did all right. So there's going to be a lot to digest in this, even though there's not all that much that I'm going to say. It's just it's very information dense,
because I had to learn this myself. I had kind of an inkling as to how Bitcoin and everything worked, but I didn't actually know. And it turns out it's very simple.
Yeah, very good. Really complicated. Yeah.
So I'm gonna try to make it as simple as possible while still giving details. Not because I think our listeners, they're half wits. But because I am definitely 1/2 wit in this situation,
I mean, I always appreciate like the spark notes version. So I'm Yeah, but I have a very simple mind is
me your spark notes version of Half wit history where Kiley is the research. Steve Fist.
I had seven pages of notes, guys, ice actually skipped quite a bit while I was reading because I panicked a little bit and went This is too long.
Just a bit anyways. So who is Satoshi Nakamoto? Well, you'll see we've already hit her first roadblock in the Bitcoin story because the Toshi Nakamoto is not a real person.
But they are
Such as the life of anything crypto
now, right? That makes sense.
So Satoshi Nakamoto is an alias for one or maybe many people. But what this entity did was invented Bitcoin, And what that means is that they invented a decentralized single spend digital currency will break down that word. That means piece by piece is
So first digital currency Probably the easiest. Understand? Yes. Uh, it's not unique. We use it all the time. Credit?
Yeah, Yeah, imaginary money.
It's not really It's not tangible. It's not even our money. It's just little pieces of data that we say. Equal money
created a thin air.
So the next concept is single. Spend This one's pretty easy to most. All of our money is double spend. Why? Because of counterfeit.
Oh, so, hey,
if you can counterfeit something, that means you can spend the same bill twice.
All right. Okay. But because a crypto currency is, I would assume, like, encrypted and all that stuff you can't.
Well, even if it's a we'll get there. But
even if you
did, it is still code, and you could feel copy code, okay. And still spend the same copy twice. It's kind of like when you see a coupon codes that get you money,
that are intended for an audience, but somehow spread.
Yeah. So, cycling you google like GSW coupon and find one that you used last week. But now you can use it again.
Yeah. Or like honey. Yeah. Just searches coupon codes for you, Whether or not they're meant for you.
I like that one. Sounds great. Yeah,
that's a shed out. Sponsors, honey
get at us, Honey, I actually downloaded honey because of other podcasts I listen to I went. That's a good idea.
That's funny. I didn't know that they actually sponsored podcast.
Oh, yeah, I've heard it all like three different podcasts.
Anyways, that single spend is something that cannot be copied like a commodity. So think of this like the old gold standard. This is what gold is worth. Gold is gold. There are many ways to prove that gold is gold without doing anything to gold.
Where is with counterfeit money? It's like, Oh, this is counterfeit. This is money. And then you can look at it and say, Well, it's not money. And it was made money made to look like money by this. Yes, you can't really do that with gold because it's just it's a substance. It's very easy to prove it's not gold,
right? Right? Yeah, like they're
so lastly is we have decentralized. And this is probably the biggest reason why digital currencies have been sought after in the first place. You know a desire to gold go back to the gold standard. Gold was not centralized because it was just If you owned gold. You had value.
Yeah, if you had it, you had it.
It didn't have to go through anybody to have its value,
right? I understand the concept of decentralized. I work for Harvard. Good There. I have never seen a more decentralized place.
So when we put it all together, how does it apply to Bitcoin? First Bitcoin eliminates trust from trade. Currently, the dollars that are in your pockets or in your banks Is the government telling you Trust me, this has value in reality. No matter how much you dissect it, money, at least in the U. S. Is not worth the value it's printed on.
No, it's not
not even close
for reference. Our U S currency is 75% cotton, 25% linen about
so no gold to be found.
Well, cotton is a commodity like
Okay, Well, yeah, true that.
So we can measure what our physical money is worth.
Not a whole dollar. I think
cotton as a commodity. Ah is currently worth 71 cents per pound.
There is not a pound of continent dolla bells.
A dollar weighs one gram. Yeah, So that means there are 454 grams and a pound, so roughly $454 bills are tangibly 70 cents.
So if you lose the trust of the government, for whatever reason, what, you physically eyes 70 cents for every about $500. And that's if you have all one's
so new question. Should I be getting more quarters?
will only actually be worth what they're metal is, which is one of the reasons why they keep debating getting rid of pennies. Because Penny's
are like more zinc now they're like, not even actual nickel anymore.
Well, it would be cop
Yes, but they
think you look even with
zinc, the copper and zinc combo that a penny is there even 100% zinc is still more expensive than a penny G test. So that's why they keep debating getting rid of the penny because it's cost the government money to produce pennies.
It cost them more than they're worth.
Yeah, but it's for you guys because printing $100 bill cost you the same is printing a $1 bill and you're getting a lot more trust money out of that. Basically, just having any sort of bill is saying Is the government telling you trust us? As long as we exist? Those notes are worth far more than what you physically own, as long as they decide that they that that is true. It remains true.
So conceivably like the like Treasury could essentially be abolished. And we would all have nothing
correct, because even our money in the bank quote on clone isn't physically stored our money in the bank either. So we don't even anything that's banked. We can't be like, Well, give me my X amount of dollars worth of cotton and linen because they don't actually keep it. They they destroy more money than they actually physically print. But the because of credit in all that stuff, the U. S. Currency and I would assume most governments are inflating. They're not. Actually, they're not even actually printing all of the money anymore because they're just giving it in credit.
And this is how the Great Depression happened. Folks think
this is how our recession really happened. That's how it's gonna happen again.
Done, done, done
because we keep giving because we keep giving high dollar value loans with very low interest.
I mean, you gave for those of us who have them, we need
them. But that doesn't mean it's the solution.
Not great for the economy
caused us to go into this in the first place.
Hush. We still need to
get a wedding loan. So? So how does Bitcoin eliminate this commodity issue where it's trust and trust is a thing that they're printing for you and it's not actually worth what they're printing?
I don't know. But I'm assuming you're going to tell me.
Well, Bitcoin is a commodity.
Oh yeah, that's true. It is, in fact, a thing.
It is a thing. It is a thing not created by other things. It is a thing that is that exist on its own,
Yes, so only a set amount of it exists in the world. And it's worth what people pay for it. Like other commodities,
which is a lot.
Yes, it is a lot. So there's no secret things pulling the strings that are inflating in creating tonnes of Bitcoin and telling you to trust them that this is why Bitcoin is like this?
it is literally a supply demand curve of the economy. So how is Big Quinn created? It's from the It's from the code that this Satoshi person made for the very first Bitcoin and is an algorithm that spits out on, on average, one block of Bitcoin every 10 minutes. Okay. And it's inflation is kept in check, mostly by having the amount of Bitcoin that has generated per block decrease by half every four years.
so every they generate a lot of Bitcoin and then
every four years ago.
Okay, the next
that's generated is worth half.
Okay, so, like, really worth
half. But there are half a cz many Bitcoins in the next block that will be released.
So will they ever get to the point? And they're not making any.
I mean, that is eventually what will happen will eventually be a limited resource, just like gold, because, I mean, we're not gonna have gold just laying around. We will eventually pull all of it from the planet.
Some of it on my finger,
huh? So when Bitcoin first came around in 2009 you earned 50 Bitcoins for every block that you mind? And those were the blocks that came out every 10 minutes. Okay. And now that we're about to hit the 2020 date, which is one of the four years Oh, we will be having our Bitcoins again. And we'll be finding on Lee 6.25 Bitcoins per block.
So rather than printing more like the government, Bitcoin prints lesson that insurers that it retains value.
I mean, smart.
So what is a block and how is it generated? Well, just like a bank does. The Bitcoin program keeps a ledger, a list of everyone who owns what and where. Except unlike a bank, this ledger is kept within every computer that is being used to find Bitcoins. And every time a new Bitcoin is found, the ledger is updated for everyone to see. Okay, the only reason we have banks is because they update the leisure's for us. Yeah, so they update ledgers for us so that the government knows where the ledger is, okay? And where the printed the physical printed money went,
but in this instance, it updates it for everyone.
It updates it for everyone without a bank. So Everyone knows exactly how much Bitcoin is and where. So if we have this ledger that has every Bitcoin in it, how come we don't all just look at this ledger and grab a Bitcoin Bitcoin block for ourselves?
Because I can't afford it. I can't find it. I
don't know. Well, the ledger doesn't actually tell you what the next block is ever
like. How much like how much is worth?
No. What? What the what? The number of the next block of Bitcoin is because, remember, it's all code.
Oh, right, right. Yeah. Okay. Doesn't tell. Not like Sequential, then. No. No. Okay.
And it doesn't list what the next number is.
so you have to find it.
It's a struggle.
Yep. So you f you have to guess until the ledger tells you you've guessed right?
No. Is there like, a specific place without people like Well, Oh, a site or something that people go to do this, like, website or
go through, like Bitcoin mining stuff programs.
Okay, So, like there's a program, that leg will do it.
I'm not sure if there's, like, an exact program, but what you're doing is, um we'll get there in a second.
Okay, Sorry. I
keep saying mining, but we should probably clarify why or I'm assuming why it's called mining is because we wanted a system that was kind of like the gold standard soak locally there saying, Oh, it's like mine and you're like mining gold. That's what you're
doing. Yeah, like you're hunting. You're like you're shipping away and looking for it right, and it is similar.
But really, what you're doing is you're guessing passwords. Oh, you're hacking. That's essentially what
you're going to say. It sounds more like hacking than anything else.
Yeah, really? Really. Layman's term, your hacking,
your hacking illegally.
So if so, miningco mining Bitcoin is all about figuring out the serial number of the next Bitcoin block. It's a long string of code that your computer tries to guess, and if it guesses it correctly, then it adds the coin, then adds the code to the ledger and then stamps your ownership on it. So because it's a guessing game, you want a more powerful computer with the ability to make more guesses than someone else's computer.
Well, that would make funds
right, but Bitcoin also has ah, interesting feature that also tries to fight inflation and domination of the system. It measures how powerful all of the computers in the network trying to calculate the next Bitcoin block are. So it tallies up, everyone trying to figure, trying to find the next Bitcoin block. And it goes, Okay, this is how much effort is being put into finding this Bitcoin the next block. We're going to make it harder to guess.
So the more people using more power to guess Bitcoins, the harder it makes that code to crack interesting. And the less people trying to find Bitcoins, the easier it makes that code to crack.
So that poor schmuck who's working on his like 2010 del trying to find a Bitcoin is kind at Elek likely will never get it,
because someone else every 10 minutes will be running a farm of computers that are calculating. They call them hash ratios or hash rates. Hatch rate. That's what it is.
so every guesses a hash and your computer can put out a certain number of hashes per second. Jesus. Yep. Computers, man that terrifying. They're gonna
take over. We're all dead. Computer
to rule the world. So this is actually kind of interesting because one of the things that boosted hash rates a lot was going from CPU, which is like our computers are little tiny laptops going from using their processing power to GPU, which is graphics processing, which is stronger than just a regular computer. So a lot of people were buying GP use rather than CP used to try and calculate more numbers, which led to something kind of interesting for the last few years. That is really pissed off a lot of gamers where even moderately good GP use, which you need to play video games on your computer, are incredibly expensive.
because people are buying them out like crazy because they're trying to
find that coin
right? So the supply demand on other things shot way up when people started really hopping on the Bitcoin train.
Well, that's mean,
yeah, to the point where, like when a new GPU came out, they would be thousands of dollars and they would all sell out immediately, and almost none of them would go for gaming because they were being bought out by companies making bit farms
Oh, yeah, not air
or people making bit farms. And they have another thing that you can do now called bit pooling. So this is trying to help, like lesser people. Like if we wanted to try and mine Bitcoin Yeah, we would join a bit cool
a monthly fee and they would take They would take use of our computers power and or we would just pay them the monthly fee to use their own computers. So we're just paying them to buy more processing power. And when their farm actually catches a bit block, they'll divide up all of the Bitcoin that they generate between the people who are part of the pool.
Now, how a sense of is it to get into these
pools? I don't know. I didn't look that
up. I'm curious. Now I might look
that up later. Yeah. Ah, Bitcoin mining is not incredibly lucrative anymore because the massive companies that are doing it
well, that's not nice either. Leave something for the little people.
I mean, it's kind of like the same thing is mining gold. Like the gold rush happened. Everyone ran over and grabbed it all. And now it's tough to get gold unless year. Yeah, a company
that's true. Boo companies were in everything. Let's just get rid
of Come Well, that's also just the nature of a commodity which we do want Bitcoin to be. Or else. Then it's just a trust me system again.
Yeah, I just don't like the idea of something that's been taken over by, like, some big entity where it's like super hard for the people that, like it was intended for
to get a hold of it, right? So let's just do a recap of like what we learned about Bitcoin right there because that was probably just information overload.
Yeah, because I knew literally nothing about Bitcoin. And now I'm like, I know one thing,
you know, one that share. If you know one thing, you pretty much know exactly how Bitcoin goes. But I think it's imp not not a suddenly important, but to like, really get a grasp of why that one thing matters. You kind of need to know a lot of this like backstory stuff so recapping we know that a Bitcoin block holds multiple Bitcoin. A block is created on average every 10 minutes Yes. And then that block, when found, gets recorded in a ledger that everyone can see and everyone can access and records every Bitcoin ever made in it. Yep. So we know exactly where who owns them. How many? All of the Bitcoins are there recording the ledger. The ledger shared with everybody,
a middleman. Yet no middleman. Essentially no. Two middlemen. There's no government, and there's no bank.
So basically, it's a wholesale. Sell it?
Yeah. I mean, it's the same thing, is like what they used to do. Like for those who don't know what gold standard was, you would literally have bars of gold. Yeah, And you would walk up to somebody if you wanted to buy something with your bar of gold. You would shave off pieces of gold until they were a certain weight.
And then you would give them that weight in gold, and then they would use that toe smelt into their own little gold coin and use that and
yeah, like here, my gold shavings. I want that hat.
Right. And the whole reason why we even got to where we are today is it was inconvenient to have many gold bars stored in a place where many gold
and then have tohave that leg whatever equipment to cut some golden because, like like imagine, Gold's probably difficult to like slice.
It's one of the softer medals, but
but still probably not like isn't like
butter. So yeah, it was it was convenient. So we went from saying, Oh, we have this gold will shave it off to Oh, we have this paper that represents gold How much gold we have. You can trade in this paper to retrieve your gold And then we went from Screw the gold. Here is paper Trust knows it's worth this much money and even further, we went through the paper. Here's a credit card. Trust us. You have this much money.
We swear it's not fake.
Yeah, and now people are trying to get back to digital currencies where it's something tangible that is not tied to a government. Yeah, so the first purchase of Bitcoin was made for two pizzas on May 22nd of 2010 more than a year after Bitcoin even became a thing. Since no shops accepted Bitcoin at this point, it was a trade between people on a Bitcoin forum. One user known as Laszlo asked if anyone would be willing to bring them two large pizzas for 10,000 Bitcoin. Whoa! Back then, Bitcoin were worth less than a cent each. So if we look at it, the 10,000 Bitcoin was traded for what was then worth about $30 of pizza. So about 1/3 of a cent each. All
today, a Bitcoin is worth around $8200.
Holy crap that those two
pizzas are currently worth $82 million.
Shit! Yeah. Good Lord late.
And that's not even the craziest Ben. Because at Bitcoins Peak near December 15th of 2017 those pizzas would have been nearly $200 million.
Oh, my gosh. Yeah, that's insane.
It's a lot of commodity.
I had no idea got like that. Expensive.
Yeah. Then there was a huge crash right after it, because everyone went $200 million. It's for 10,000 of these fuckers gone.
I'm gonna sell all my big coy,
right. Yeah, I got up to it was almost $20,000 for one Bitcoin. Wow! Yeah, that's ridiculous. Yeah, I remember back in the day, like people were even trying to just, like, giveaway Bitcoin to, like, start the economy.
like, yeah, because I was in, like, sophomore year high school or something like that in 2009 and anyone was trying to get the economy to start moving. So they were like, Oh, if you was kind of like, um what do you call it? Like that Publisher's clearinghouse stuff Where
you Yeah, Yeah,
you would play like a bunch of games and you would earn these points in these points would lead up to rewards. But, like,
the websites that people were making would essentially be like, play these games or in points, and eventually you, you know, you'll be able to trade in these points for, like, a Bitcoin nearly
100 Bitcoin or something like that, cause they were only worth 1/3 of a cent,
Like that's what publishers clearing house does that like you can trade it in for this thing. You spent hundreds of hours getting us ad revenue, but you can get this $3 item. Yeah, hundreds of So it was the same kind of deal. Yeah, man, I wish I was a stupid her kid because I was just like, huh? Those must be virus sites, and I
just ignore him
yet It's a scam. It's not gonna last
Joke's on you. Oh, sweetie, it's okay.
It is fine. Because, honestly, if, like, we had those in the stock for jumped, like, even up to, like, $1000 in like,
whoa, I've got, like, $3000 cash it out, right?
I feel like most people would have done that. So I don't really have any pity your sympathy for people who are like, Ah, if I held on to it, I would have been so rich. It's like, Yeah, but you never would have no
say no or what? Yeah,
most sane people wouldn't have.
Yeah, it's It's one of those things where it's like I've made more than I paid for it like, Sure, maybe I could have made more, but I made more than I paid for it. So, like, it's a good deal,
right? Well, anyways, I hope you guys understand a little bit more about Bitcoin. I feel like I've got a pretty firm grasp on it. Like I always knew that the Bitcoin was always worth exactly what its stock was. I never really put two and two together that that's because Bitcoin was a commodity.
that's really all you need to understand about Bitcoin is it is a thing that there is a fixed amount of that is not inflating, you know, its price will go up
price will be worth what its stock value is.
Right. Although you do have a Bitcoin
Yeah, I have got me a fake Bitcoin. That is a physical point with Bitcoin logo on
it. That was really funny. Just the opposite and goes This is a Bitcoin and your heart goes, Yeah, you're like, you know, it's not a real one, right? You think? Yeah. And your mom was like, you have a big coin like your mom seemed to like. Think it was an actual Bitcoin and we were like, Oh, no, no, no, no, Don't stop. Hold up. Wait, wait, wait.
Okay, let's move on to our call to action. Then you can follow us on Facebook and Twitter at halfway history. You can find us on Patri on at half wit pod. I'm just gonna let you right. No, right now, I'm gonna be revamping that coming the next few weeks once we announce what our new project is Yeah, you can send us an email to half wit pod at gmail dot com.
Yes, So if annual wants to send us an email with topic ideas, suggestions, fun facts even just like a vague thing like you haven't done anything about X, y or Z, like check out like, try and find a topic that's related to I don't know. I can't think of anything off the top my head. They keep wanting to say pirates, but I've done a pirate. Kylie just likes pirate. I do like pirates. Ask for more pirates, please. And I like Sure, look, did Let's do more cryptic, too.
And you can visit our website at www dot half wit dash history dot com ratings reviews. Stuff like that is always great, but as we are learning from some studies about that stuff, just just spread the word like that's honestly what helps the most.
Tell your friends, tell your family. Tell your gym trainer tell your doctor just tell someone
in our our website has links to all of the different pod catchers that you can listen to. So, like apple or Spotify or stitcher or Google play, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
There are so many at this point,
I'll shadow pod chaser because they've been really great about, like Twitter in helping out other new podcast. Get noticed. Yeah. So helpful. Yeah. So listen, go listen through. Pod chaser if you haven't really picked an aggregator yet.
Yeah. Fun fax phone backs. On December 30th 18 53 a dinner party is held inside a life sized model oven. Iguana Don, created by Benjamin Waterhouse Hawkins and Sir Richard Owen and Self London
Diminish have gotten first. That was more I was excited for.
That is a title that they had a dinner party inside. Life size model of a dinosaur. I want it.
On December 30th of 192 Roman Emperor ca Modest survives a poisoning attempt by his mistress on Lee to be strangled in the bath by from an assassination plot.
Yeah, I saw that one.
I guess I went morbid since you went all the way to someone's
death. I mean, that's pretty standard
and the multiple attempts at killing.
Yeah, Yeah, so
All right. So that's been our show. We hope you enjoyed listening. As always, I've been your half wit
and I'm your historian,
and when you hope you come back next